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Top Ten
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10. |
Attach the "D" key on the keyboard via the cordless phone to the their microwave oven that has been rewired to 220 so when it is activated not only does the food on the inside get hot but everything in a 3 mile radius gets cooked too. |
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9. |
Secretly switch their Ritalin with Methamphetamine (crank) wait and watch them literally go into nuclear fission. |
8. |
Take them to Federal Antitrust Court for the better portion of their lives on trumped up Monopoly charges until either they give up and just kill themselves |
7. |
Put radioactive isotopes in the soup, and don't skimp just because plutonium is hard to find. |
6. |
Get them an actual Date with any of the Baywatch beauties and tell them it is a sure thing. Watch the heart stop before the finish saying, "ARE YOU KIDDI.....!" <thump> |
5. |
Take them into the most crowded hotel at COMDEX, wait till they are fully
immersed in the crowd and scream at the top of your lungs, "OH MY GOD LOOK IT IS
SPOCK AND KIRK SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS OUTSIDE FOR THE FIRST 1000 PEOPLE TO GET OUT
THERE!!!". Important Note: Verify your ability to climb to safety before yelling. |
4. |
Interface into their pacemaker and make sure that all the programming code uses a two digit dating system. It may take a year to kill them but you can tease them all year about it. |
3. |
Lock them out of the basement as the sunrises forcing prolonged UV exposure. This works on Vampires equally as well. |
2. |
Switch their Jolt with new Caffeine free sugar free diet Jolt and kick back as they die from the worst caffeine withdrawal know to man. |
1. |
Petition to get the Dial - A - Nerd Radio show taken off the air. Note: This could result in a mass suicide on the scale of Jim Jones incident... be sure to hide the purple Kool-Aid. |
More information in WJFK 1300 AM is found here: WJFK 1300 AM
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